Wednesday, February 19, 2014

I've fallen and I can't get up

Well, it's been an action-packed week.  One of those weeks where when I think back to Saturday, it seems like weeks ago.  Yesterday, Kate had her baby!  It's a girl!  Mama and Baby Ella are doing well.  Everyone is thrilled, and I got to see a picture.  I always tell people their newborn baby is beautiful or whatever, but let's be honest - newborns usually look like wrinkly old men/aliens with smooshy heads.  It takes a little while for them to look beautiful.  I can count on one hand the number of times I really thought a newborn was beautiful.  But Baby Ella?  She really is beautiful.  She looks perfect, like she could be a newborn baby model or something.  I wish I didn't live so far away and I could meet her sooner.  I've been spending a lot of my time wondering how Kate is feeling and how breastfeeding is going and what her labor was like.  I don't want to intrude on her, so I haven't called (plus, she's inundated with family visitors right now), but hopefully we will get to talk soon.

My dad was, of course, very happy to hear about Kate's news (he's known her she was a little girl, since we grew up around the corner from each other), and naturally had to make a "joke" about how jealous he is that she has a girl, and that maybe I'll get lucky and my next child will be a girl too.  I think I've mentioned before that my dad loved having daughters and he has always wanted a granddaughter and he made absolutely no effort to hide his disappointment that Manuji is a boy.  Normally I can let this stuff roll off my back, but it hurt my feelings yesterday.  It doesn't help that I know my in-laws were also disappointed to find out we were having a boy.  We have a lot of boys in the family, I get it.  But it took us a long time to get pregnant and we had two miscarriages along the way, can't they just manage to be happy that we can even have a baby?  Can't they just love our son because he's our son and they theoretically love us?  Right now it feels like no one in my family is particularly happy or excited that we're having a baby.  I know I'm overreacting, and of course I started crying about this yesterday, which I am totally chalking up to the hormones.  But if we decide to have a second kid, and if I can actually get pregnant again, I am sorely tempted to find out if it's a boy or girl and then not tell anyone because screw all of them.

Anyway, after this dumb conversation with my dad, I'm stomping down a shiny tiled floor at work between my cube and the bathroom and my foot (I was wearing a kitten heel dress shoe that I thought had a decent tread) slipped right out from under me and I went down hard on my left side.  Luckily my knee took the brunt of it, and I didn't land on my tummy.  There was no one around in the hall and I lay there, rolling around on the floor, like the giant turtle that I am.  It took a couple of minutes to pull myself together and get up.  Guys, it hurt a lot.  Once I was up, I was freaked out about whether the baby was okay.  I logically knew he was probably fine - I hadn't broken anything, he's protected by the amniotic sac, but it was a hard fall and it scared the shit out of me.  I called up Jeeves, crying and scared, but he couldn't answer the phone because he was on a work call.  So I went home and hoped that if I ate some pizza, Manuji would start moving.  He did.  He's fine, he's been moving all over the place.  I, on the other hand, am incredibly bruised and sore and I'm moving like an 80 year old.  

Last night, I slept poorly again, and I had all sorts of terrible dreams: Manuji was born, but Jeeves couldn't be there because of work, so I had to deliver him all by myself.  And then once he was born, no one cared except me.  Then I dreamt that we were back to having ultrasound scans because they kept seeing anomalies, but they weren't sure, so they just kept sending me for more and more scans and I was having to fight for referrals and insurance coverage.  It was really fun.  Not helping matters?  That my left side is all banged up and rolling over onto that side hurts like hell.

God, this post sounds soooo mopey!  Marcy at Sensitive Ginger wrote a great post last week where she looked at the events of her difficult week solely based on the positive things that had happened to her.  I had intended to write this post about our apartment search (which we spent all weekend on) and how we may have an apartment to move to, which is great.  But instead I spent this post bitching and moaning.  So, a list of the good stuff that has happened in the last few days:

  • We had Jeeves' college roommate and his girlfriend over for dinner on Saturday and everything turned out very nicely.  I was especially pleased with Smitten Kitchen's kale salad with walnuts and pecorino - it was delicious.
  • We got to have lunch at Adrienne's Pizza Bar.  I've been on a real pizza kick lately, and theirs is amazing.
  • It was a three day weekend!  Yay!
  • We had dinner at Fatty Crab (I still think it's overrated) with my good friend Jim and his wife, who are back from their two year stint in China (they work in the Foreign Service).  It was so fun to hear about their jobs, which are fascinating, and the places they traveled to outside of China.  Their life together is full of adventure.  And even though I get a little jealous that they go to places I will probably never make it to, I also know I couldn't spend so much time away from my family and loved-ones.  So it's nice to live vicariously through them.
  • We have probably figured out where we're living, so that's a huge relief.  More to come on that.
  • The weather is finally warming up.
  • My heartburn and palpitations are largely gone, and other than the aforementioned achiness/trouble sleeping, second trimester is going fine.  I hit 23 weeks yesterday.  Manuji continues to move around all the time.  Sometimes when I poke my belly, he will kick back in the same spot.  It's pretty awesome.
  • Wendy is throwing me a baby shower, and she's been doing so much work on it.  Honestly, I just assumed I wouldn't be having a baby shower because I didn't really think anyone would be able to host it.  So I was really touched when she asked if she could do it.  I can't believe how lucky I am to have her as one of my oldest and best friends.
  • We're going on our babymoon this weekend!  Hooray!
I bet I could come up with more, but it's time to get on with the day.  As you can see, I have lots to be happy about, and I'm going to focus on all the good stuff.


  1. Anonymous1:10 PM

    Um, I totally would cry and cry if my family wasn't excited about the baby. Boys are great! What's wrong with boys? Especially since it took you so long to get where you are, I'm sorry they're not appreciating everything you've been through or acknowledging how wonderful a new baby is going to be! I'm glad you're ok from your fall, but I have to be honest, "There was no one around in the hall and I lay there, rolling around on the floor, like the giant turtle that I am." <- that cracked me up. I'm so glad you're ok, and I totally know it wasn't funny in the moment and I'm sorry if that makes me a terrible person....but it's the way you described it that makes it funny.

    It sounds like, amidst the crazy, you had some good things come up too! I can't believe you're at 23 weeks already! Over half way will be so awesome to finally have him on the outside!

    1. I'm glad I made you laugh! I've told this story to other people and made the turtle comparison and people laugh and then look ashamed, but that's totally what I was going for because I'm sure I did look funny, just rolling around on the floor attempting to get up. And yes, I can't wait to meet him. Although I am glad we still have some time to go because we have SO much to do!

  2. Wow I'm so sorry you're family is disappointed that you're having a boy! I get that a bit too, because my SIL has four boys (and finally a girl) and I've had two. It sucks! And I'm so sorry you fell, that is scary! I'm glad you are (semi) okay and Manuji is fine! Have an awesome baby moon!

    1. Thanks, Melissa. My sister has 3 boys, and Jeeves' brother has 2 boys, so we knew people would be disappointed (which is okay) but I kind of wish they'd just get over it already!

  3. Ugh, so sorry your families comments made you hurt and that you are all bruised up. I am so excited for you to go to Cali. Yummy food everywhere!!! And I love the spin you added to highlight all the positives. Lots of good stuff happening in your life.

    1. I'm really looking forward to the trip - and thanks for those magazine recommendations, we found a couple of great articles about the area that I think are going to be really helpful.