Thursday, May 22, 2014

Hot Dog Fingers

I wanted to post earlier this week, but time got away from me.  Last week I started experiencing a new pregnancy symptom.  It's a super fun one.  I've noticed lately that my fingers have been swelling and I can't wear any of my rings anymore.  That was fine, I know that swelling, especially in the warmer weather, is normal at this stage of pregnancy.  My fingers were starting to look like sausages - it's a good thing we don't have a dog, it would probably try to eat them.

But what I did not anticipate is that this prolonged swelling causes pain in the joints of my fingers.  So, bottles became tough to open, and in the middle of the night, when I haven't moved my hands for awhile and I get up to pee, just removing toilet paper from the roll is painful.  It's not my favorite.  Some days are worse than others.  

Tuesday I got up very early and was in a ZipCar by 7:30 a.m. to drive from Brooklyn to Jersey so I could take Dad to chemo.  It's kind of a big week where Dad is concerned - 5 years ago yesterday (May 21) he was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer.  To put it in perspective, the 5 year survival rate for people whose colon cancer has spread to distant sites is currently 12%.  This means that all those people who got diagnosed with the same type and stage of cancer as Dad back in May 2009 - 88% of those people are dead.  My dad is in this very small minority of people who are still here 5 years later, even if they aren't cured.  As shitty as the situation with Dad has been, especially for the last 6 months or so, I can't get over the fact that we got 5 years.  It is so far beyond what we thought we would get, and I am grateful.  So grateful that he was here for the birth of my youngest nephew, here for my wedding, and that, barring a catastrophe, he will meet my son.  

Anyway, I went out to Jersey because I've been worried about him, and we went to chemo.  Chemo was fine in the end, and it looks like he's developing anemia, which explains his fatigue (his weight is holding steady and he's not dehydrated).  It's not severe enough to do anything about the anemia at this point, so we'll just wait and see.  I left mid-afternoon so I could get back to the City for our hospital tour.  The driving was tense and I ached by the time I got home.  Then I spent about an hour on the subway (where I do not always get a seat - yeah, New Yorkers are a really lovely bunch - me and my painful hot dog fingers had to cling to the subway pole since no one would give me a seat on the 6 train) and then walking to get to the hospital.  The tour was good, very informative, and made all this "holy shit, we're really having a baby" thing even more real.  

THEN we got on a train to Westchester to go pick up Jeeves' parents' second car, which we are borrowing.  We got home around 10:30 p.m.  Such a long day.  And I got all pleased with how much I was able to do even though I'm 36 weeks pregnant.  Like, oh ho, look at me and how productive I am and I didn't collapse!  Ha.  The next day I was so fucking banged up from the day before that I basically couldn't get out of bed.  I felt awful.  My fingers went from hot dogs to bratwurst links.  

So, I guess the moral of the story is that I cannot, in fact, do all that stuff and have a normal day the next day.  Even today, two days later, I'm still not back to myself.  Or my normal pregnancy self, which is definitely different from normal non-pregnant me.

In other news, our crib and the dresser came for the baby's room, and I've been having fun putting his stuff away.  I am, at once, so excited to meet him I can hardly stand it, and terrified that he will come early and we won't be ready at all (because we still have a lot of shit on the "To Do" list).  I am also terrified that he will come very late or not at all and I will have to be induced.  So, a lot of terror up in here, basically.

Tomorrow is a big day - we have our last biweekly OB appointment before we move on to weekly appointments, and it's our first ultrasound since I was 21 weeks.  I'm very anxious about it because I'm scared they will see something bad (like low amniotic fluid) and send me off to the hospital or something.  So, wish me luck that tomorrow goes smoothly.  I will update.  And in the meantime, have a fantastic three day weekend.  


  1. What kind of demented friend am I that, my absolute favorite sentence in this entire post was "So, a lot of terror up in here, basically." (It was so in your voice I could practically hear you say it)

    Terrcitement is a perfect way to capture how you're feeling right now! What a lucky kid to have someone who cares so much for him already waiting on the other end!

    And girl, I'm right there with you. I had to learn the hard way that I couldn't be good old me just like you did. Tried to power wash the new garage and use the electric trimmer to trim the overgrown hedges at the house in Bloomfield .... and spent the next day in bed because I was so banged up. Maybe it was something in the water in Newark that made up super-human and super-dumb!

    Take care of yourself and your Manuji! xoxoxo alj

  2. Aw I'm sorry about the swelling, that's really no fun! I know it's scary, we always feel like we're not ready, but it all falls into place and works out, even when things don't get "done"!

  3. Oh wow, you did have some really funny lines in this post. Hot dogs to bratwursts! Glad you're able to have sense of humor about your pain, which also helps during labor. Hooray for 5 years and your dad being here to meet Manuji. Good luck at your appointment today!

  4. Oh honey, I hate to laugh but I could just picture all of this, including the hot dog fingers. Hope your appointment was wonderful and deep breaths, you will get everything done and he will come when it's time, even if it is scary and overwhelming right now.