Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Lesson learned

For my birthday, Jeeves got me a gift certificate for a prenatal massage.  He did a lot of research into it and picked a place that specializes in that sort of thing because he knew what I really wanted out of a prenatal massage was the opportunity to lie face down.  Some places just have you lie on your side, so he found a place that has all the special pillows and what not so I could lie on my tum.  I was really excited about this massage.  Since it's just down the street from my OB's office, I decided to schedule it for post-OB appointment.  A small voice in the back of my head asked if that was such a good idea.  A few women in my pregnancy group have gone for "routine" OB appointments only to be sent to triage because of skyrocketing blood pressure or something in their urine.  I ignored this little (wise) voice.  I should note that the massage place has a very strict policy that you must cancel 24 hours ahead of time or you will be charged the full amount.

Anyhoo, the day before my appointment, it was raining pretty hard here in NYC and I put on my rain boots to go to work.  I noticed a pretty sharp pain in my right inner ankle/calf.  It was enough that I took off the boots because it hurt to wear them, but I noted that I didn't have any pain unless I applied pressure to the area.  There was no bruise, but I'm up about 3 times a night now and it's possible I could have sleepily banged my leg and not remembered it.  Anyway, I mentioned it to Jeeves and he thought we should mention it to the OB, just to be safe.

So, anyway, we met a new OB (I am in a group practice and I'm at the point now where I have meet all the doctors who could potentially deliver Manuji).  She was fine, everything seemed normal (fundal height, Manuji's heartrate, my blood pressure), and then I mentioned the ankle pain.  She was immediately concerned and started examining the leg.  It was actually hurting less that day than it had the day before.  But she was still concerned that it could be a deep vein thrombosis (loud sigh) and felt I should go get a Doppler ultrasound study of the leg.  Today.  Oh joy.  She stepped out of the exam room so she could see about getting me in for the Doppler, and I just looked at Jeeves.  "Sorry, baby.  I shouldn't have told you to say anything."  Honestly, though, he was right - it's the sort of thing you should mention to your doctor.  I was just pissed because a) I feel like most of my doctors in NYC tend to err on the side of over-testing (Cover Your Ass (CYA) Medicine, as Jeeves calls it); and b) I fucking knew I should not have scheduled my massage for the same day as my OB appointment.

I know some people would have just cancelled the massage and given up the gift certificate.  But I'm kind of an asshole and I just fucking refused.  I kept thinking back to the bean and that shitty day where my RE's office made me run all over the city for high res scans to make 100% sure I wasn't having an ectopic pregnancy when we all knew I wasn't having an ectopic pregnancy.  I knew I did not have a deep vein thrombosis.  So, I told my OB I would go for a scan, but I could not go before a certain time, as I had another appointment.  

And of course, here's where Jeeves is the best husband ever.  He sent me off for my prenatal massage while he dealt with the doctor and the hospital about getting my stupid Doppler study scheduled.  Apparently at one point the OB told him if I couldn't get in for an appointment today then I needed to go to the ER.  Ummm, hell no, I'm not sitting in an ER for 7 hours where I will be the absolute lowest priority.

So I went for the massage, which was pretty damn great, and when it was done, there was a text from Jeeves exhorting me to hustle on up to midtown for a Doppler study.  Subway and lots of running later, I got to the place, panting and clutching my belly because walking fast gives me cramps.  A half hour later, I got a 15 minute ultrasound done of my leg, which was, as expected, completely fine.  Do you want to know what the ticket price of this test is?  $2750.  We have insurance, so we'll be paying 10% of whatever the negotiated fee is, but geez.  

So, that was the excitement in my day, and now I have learned my lesson that I should stop making plans for after OB appointments.  

How did everyone do with Mother's Day?  Most years, no one says anything to me about it.  Last year was an especially tough Mother's Day for me - I really missed my mom, all the Facebook messages people were posting made me sad sad sad, and I was in the two week wait of what I was sure was another failed IUI (turned out I was pregnant with the bean, but I didn't know it on that day).  On that day last year, Liana texted me to tell me she loved me and she knew it was a hard day for me.  I promptly started crying on the Metro North train back from my in-laws' house.  Being pregnant on Mother's Day is nice and all, but it doesn't make me miss my mom any less.  Luckily we were at a wedding all day Sunday for Rajeev's uncle.  Listen, I'm generally not a huge fan of weddings on holidays, but if Mother's Day (or Father's Day for that matter) is tough for you, I highly recommend getting yourself invited to a wedding on that day.  It's a great distraction.  Sure, there are still people wishing some of the people at the wedding a happy Mother's Day, but the primary focus is on the couple getting married (and in this case, it's an older couple, so there was no talk of them having children).

Because I am visibly pregnant, a lot of people wished me a happy Mother's Day.  This made me feel weird, and like it was a jinx, even though I am not a superstitious person.  In my heart, am I Manuji's mother?  Of course.  But it just makes me nervous.  Lots of things can go wrong between now and when he's born.  Let's not get ahead of ourselves, people.

Perhaps the nicest thing, though, was that several of my friends texted me to let me know they were thinking of me, knowing it can be a hard day.  I was really touched.  And when I got home, there was a card from Liana.  It meant so much to me that she thought of me - as I mentioned in this post, she has MS and has been going through a really bad time.  But she still remembered me.  The card:


It reads "May the gift of her memory turn your Mother's Day into a time of appreciation and love."  Inside, Liana had written a really lovely message about my mom and how she knew that because of my mom, I would be a great mom.  Yes, I cried.

I know for some of you, it was an especially shitty Mother's Day.  I know having a child doesn't necessarily cure the rough feelings many of us have for Mother's Day, but I hope next year, the day will be gentler for you.  And if you made it through relatively unscathed like I did, I'm grateful for that too.  And if you're a mom, I hope you had a beautiful day.

35 weeks pregnant today.  People continue to tell me how small I look.  I continue to not appreciate that comment.  Baby's room is still a mess, but crib and dresser come this week, so it's gonna have to get fixed up by Friday.  I can't believe how time is flying by.


  1. Glad your leg is ok and you had your birthday massage after all! Thank you Jeeves for making that happen.

  2. I hope the rushing and the scan didn't undo too much of that lovely massage's de-stressing! I'm glad you're okay and had a good weekend. That card is a lovely sentiment.

  3. I'm glad you were able to get your massage!

  4. Anonymous11:15 PM

    Love that Jeeves made it happen and that you managed to get your massage in - well deserved! And wowzers, 35 weeks? That is crazy that it is so close! I think you need a massage a week until Manuji gets here :)