Wednesday, July 06, 2005

To Market To Market to Suit a Fat Pig

I don't actually think I'm a fat pig, but the title worked, so bear with me. The actual song, which my mom used to sing when I was little, goes "To market to market to buy a fat pig, home again home again jiggety jig." Ohhh, good times.

Several summers ago, I interned in a family court three days a week, and spent the rest of my time waitressing at a country club. It was one of the more miserable summers of my life - very very hot, and I worked every day of the week. At the time, I was driving the minivan, a.k.a. The Fun Bus, which would overheat if I ran the air-conditioning. And since I usually went from one job to the other, I didn't have time to eat much. As a result, I lost some weight.

With that in mind, I set out to buy some suits for on-campus interviewing at school. Of course, the problem with those suits now that I am back to my life of luxury, (a.k.a. a desk job with hidden stashes of chips around the office and a car with AC that works) is that they are too small for me, yet I persist in cramming myself into them because what's the point of buying a new suit? Sure, I look like a stuffed sausage on the occasions when I must wear them, but I couldn't bring myself to pay money for an article of clothing that I just don't like.

Alas, my new job is going to require business dress. That means suits every day. And that means, despite my limited funds, I must start buying suits that actually fit me.

Yesterday while running errands, I stopped at Loehmann's, which I seemed to recall had discounted suits. Oh boy, did they. I love to shop. It's one of my favorite things to do. Not so much with suits, though, because they're expensive and kind of boring. That being said, I walked away with two suits and I'm generally pleased with them. And they fit me so I won't be suffocating at work.

Here's the truly annoying thing about women's suits. Most ladies are bigger in the hips/thighs/ass region. It's just the way it goes, something to do with birthing babies or some such nonsense. Yet, most suits are sold together, and the top and bottom are made the same size. While trying on a variety of Tahari suits, I discovered that while the jacket of the smaller size would fit very nicely, the matching skirt replicated the pig in a blanket feel of all my older suits. Thus, I had to go a size up, the skirt would finally fit, and the jacket would then look line-backerish. In any event, I now must take my deeply discounted suits and get them tailored, which I'm sure will cost a pretty penny. See how they get ya? Bastards.

Anyway, I'm now an official Loehmann's fan, though the search will continue elsewhere for more suits. To the Brooks Bros. outlet at Jersey Gardens with me!

In other shopping news, I went to Garden State Plaza last week to visit my friends at BCBG. And by friends, I mean clothes. Before, though, I used the restroom at Nordstrom, which required me to walk past all the ultra expensive, beautiful clothes that I will never afford or own. Stupid Nanette Lepore and her beautiful clothes. This jacket, which was much more beautiful in person, was clearly made for me, and yet priced about $330 out of my price range. Instead, I splurged on a dress courtesy of Max Azria. If it's anything like all my other clothes from Max, I shall not regret a penny that I spent. Plus, I figure since almost everything I currently own comes from Target and Marshall's, and cost less than $20, I was due for a nice piece of clothing.

Well, I could go on all day, but I ought to be working/helping co-worker Dan find a dress for his lady friend.

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