Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Lazy Lefty for the win!

If this cycle works out, and if I ever own a horse I will name it Lazy Lefty.  I like the fact that there is probably a higher statistical likelihood that this cycle will work out than that I will own a horse named Lazy Lefty.  Or own any horse for that matter.  

Anyway, I had morning monitoring today.  I've been surprised the last two visits at how quiet the waiting room has been for morning monitoring.  It's weird.  The place was packed back in May and June.  But I digress.  I got called in quickly for my date with the dildo cam.  I think I've mentioned before that my RE is a group practice, so although I have one doctor (Dr. M) who sets my treatment plan and meets with Jeeves and me when we need to talk about testing and treatment, I see whoever is available for morning monitoring.  Today it was Dr. Z.  I haven't seen him since my first cycle back in February.  Dr. Z is originally from Germany.  What's the opposite of xenophobic?  Xenophilic?  Anyway, I really like Germans, which is based on my very small sample size of the people I met in Berlin, TK's ex-boyfriend, and the anesthesiologist who gave me the sleepy drugs for my D&C.  The reason I like Dr. Z so much is because I never feel rushed when he's doing the monitoring, and he turns the ultrasound screen towards me, explaining everything he is measuring as he goes.  I suspect that if you are a non-IFer, this seems like a pretty small thing to get excited about.  But if you are an IFer, you know how rare it is.  Ah, bedside manner.  Anyway, I attribute his good bedside manner to the fact that he went to med school in Germany.  This is completely unsupported by any evidence.

So, we start out the monitoring with him measuring my lining - 8mm!  That is by far the best lining I have had on CD 9 since we started this business back in February.  To go back, I should explain that in my three prior IUI cycles, my left ovary talks a good game on cycle day 2, but by cycle day 9, it's pooped out, called in sick, and leaves all the work for good, reliable Righty.  Of course, Righty's work leaves something to be desired (see, e.g., previous chemical pregnancy and missed miscarriage).

So, Dr. Z then swings over to Righty, and I expect that we will see something, but he says, "As you can see [not really, Dr. Z, this shit all looks like blurry black and gray blobs to me, but I'll take your word for it], there's nothing on the right ovary."  Fuuuuucccckkkkk, I think.  This is horrible.  Lefty never does anything, and if Righty is punking out, then that means the cycle will be cancelled and arrrggghhhhh.  Then he swings over to Lefty and says, "Ah, and here is what we expect to see."  That's right, kids - 3, count 'em, 3 follicles on poor, sad, lazy Lefty.  The largest is 18.5mm (easily the biggest follicle I've ever had on cycle day 9), followed by a 16mm and a 14.5mm.

Dearest Lazy Left Ovary, I apologize for all the mean things I said about you all year when you weren't doing anything.  And I'm sorry for accusing you of not pulling your wait and for thinking that you were possibly going through menopause.

So now I start up with the ovulation predictor kit (OPK), and if I don't get a surge by Sunday, I get to stick myself with some Ovidrel.  Fun times ahoy!  For today, I feel like a million bucks.  Even the wretched decaffeinated coffee (seriously starting to wonder what the point of decaf coffee is.... it doesn't even taste good) at Bouchon and having to change out of my yoga pants into work pants couldn't bring me down!  I'm sure by tomorrow I will be in the throes of "will this IUI be timed correctly?" panic, but for now, I feel great.  And I'm taking it.  

7 comments:

  1. Go Lefty!! We're rooting for you!!

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    1. I'm trying to sweet talk it with promises of chocolate.

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  2. Zehr gut! Not feeling rushed combined with explanations is the best. I love your apology to lefty. I recently apologized to my uterus for all the complaining I had done about it.

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    1. I know! I say so many mean things to my body, I should really give it a break.

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  3. I feel the spirit of Phil Mickelson in ya right now! Five Majors later in his career could make him the patron saint of your ovary! If this is true, I promise I will procure a baby green jacket in yours and his honor.

    xoxo

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    1. I wish Blogger had a thing like on Facebook where I could just "like" comments, because this comment is sooo deserving of it. I would be proud for my left ovary to take after old Phil.

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    2. Blogger definitely needs a like feature.

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